losing your first love

It's been eleven days since we lost my dad. 

It is still so hard to believe that he is really gone. 

I know that he is in heaven, completely cancer free, but my heart still aches knowing that he is no longer here with us. Reality usually hits when I pick up the phone to call him. Sometimes I still expect him to pick up.

We have known for a long time this day would come. 

For the last 17 months he had been fighting a losing battle. We had found out that his cancer had spread to his brain and even though he knew that he was terminal he kept fighting, hoping for a miracle. Most would say that he never got that miracle, but I would have to disagree. God blessed us with so much more time with him and our family came together in more ways than one. For the past year he had been trying to get us all to be one big, happy family and that is what we finally are. It may not be perfect but I have spoke with my sibling more in the past four weeks then I have in the past four years. 

My daddy would be proud.

I know y'all didn't know my dad, but I wish you could have.

He really was a true ray of sunshine. 

Always smiling and always making people laugh. Even when he knew he had days to live. 

I am incredibly lucky that I was given a dad like him and that my children were given a grandpa like him.

We will miss him each and everyday. We love you daddy!

{{my heart is breaking}}

About 3 weeks ago my dad was taken to the hospital for what seemed like a simple procedure. None of us knew that when they wheeled him back our lives would never be the same again.

Just a little over 17 months ago my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. He has been fighting and taking chemo this whole time. He looked so good. Ya, he had lost some weight, but he needed to anyway. And the chemo never once made him sick. We were ecstatic! Then they discovered some fluid around his lungs that needed to be drained off. They wanted to make sure it was non cancerous. Off they went to the hospital to have it done.

When they drained the fluid off my dads lungs they inadvertently opened the hole in his esophagus that was formed by the cancer. In the process they also collapsed his lung. Fast forward a week... He developed septicemia and his lung was destroyed. He was admitted to ICU while they tried to figure out what was wrong. Fast forward another week... We just found out that the antibiotics are not helping the infection and that the cancer has spread to his brain.

My heart is breaking for all of us. My dad was doing so good and then went downhill very fast. He was transported to hospice yesterday and we are just spending as much time with him as God allows.

I am very thankful that God has given us this extra time with him. To see him and to love on him. We are truly blessed!

If it weren't for my super sweet husband who has been my shoulder to cry on and my rock through the rough day and my knowledge that God is here with us all, I don't think I could have gotten out of bed most days.

I have also found that keeping me busy and occupied (mainly Pinterest) helps keep my spirits up so I will be by to post all the super awesome things I found and the crafts I have been working on.

Hope you all have a blessed Wednesday!

hello sweet brunette

If you read yesterdays post you already know that I decided that I wanted a change from my summer-y blonde locks. Considering summer is over (Thank you, Jesus!) and i'm ready for a change so I better do it quick before I talk myself out of it.

At first I thought what about pink...

Just playin! I don't want that big a of a change!

I decided to go with Ion Color Brillance Medium Brown from Sally's. I looked at the golden browns and the ash browns, but in the end I decided to stick with a neutral shade. The ash browns looked like they had a lot of green in them, and well green and hair are never a good thing. Unless you the Joker. Then it's okay. But i'm not. And the golden browns had a lot of red in them, and well my husband dislikes red hair for some reason. So I thought that since I was springing the whole hair color change thing on him in the first place I would steer clear of a color he does not like.

This was me last night. I decided to do it at Courtney's house so she could help if I needed it. And she did. She fed my little monsters :) All the kids kept looking at me like I was crazy!

 And now, the BIG reveal..... drumroll please..... Ta-Da!

So, what do you think? I have to say that I really like it. My hair feels healthier than it did when it was blonde and it is a whole lot shinier than it has ever been. Not too shabby for $16. In the end I would definitly color my hair again on my own over going back to the salon. 

blonde today, gone tomorrow

For some reason every year around this time I get the urge to drastically change my hair. Whether it be cutting it all off or going from blonde to brunette. I just love to change my hair in the fall! This time, I am going from my super blonde locks to a medium brunette. I have been blonde so long that I am not sure what to expect even though I have gone brunette like this once before. I really liked it the last time,   so here I going for it again. My poor husband on the other hand, has no idea I am dying my hair tonight and will be shocked when he comes home from work today! I love me a good shocked face :)

Pardon my hick talk for a second, but don't you ever just get the hankerin' for somethin' different? I know that I do. Probably more than I should. Luckily though, it's never too drastic. Well by my standards anyway.

Let's get to colorin'!

So here is to saying goodbye to my summer blonde and hello to autumn brunette!

Peace out, blondie!

a colorful run... walk

Yesterday my two favorite girlfriends and I participated in the Color Vibe 5K. In all honesty it was probably the happiest and most colorful 5k that I have ever been too (not to mention the only one). Everyone was pumped and ready to get the party started... and it was only 9am! Shortly after we arrived everyone broke open their color packets and went completely crazy with it. 

I think we got more color on us while we were waiting our turn to start than we did while we were on the course. All in all the experience was a blast (had I not been sick)! And we will definitely be doing the Color Run next month, but this time we will be taking all of the kids. We really think that they will enjoy all of the crazy colorful fun! 

Don't let that smile fool you. I was trying to hide my pain and that's when the funnest part came. I sat for 3 hours in urgent care. Color and all. I had started my weekend with what I thought was just a pesky UTI but soon learned that I had a double kidney infection and that the jog/walk that I attempted during the 5K only aggravated the whole thing. So I spent the next two days in and out of bed in pain waiting for my antibiotics to start working.

Now that I'm all better I am ready to put my happy colorful socks back on and put my feet to the pavement!

one crazy month

Oh my, what a month it has been! I swear all I ever do is play catch up. I think I am going to sit down and schedule in some blog time. I really do miss sitting down an reading all the posts on my blog roll and sharing about what's going on in my world with everyone.

I want to start off by talking about the name of my blog. I have spoke about my little identity crisis in the past and apparently still feel confused. I hope you all don't think I am too crazy. Xo

Now on to the catching up part. I thought the best way to catch everyone up was to just post the pictures. Hope you all enjoy this little catch up post! 

Let's start with these wonderful Strawberry Spinach Popsicles I made for the boys. They were super easy to make and they were super yummy!

This delicious Enchilada Casserole was a HUGE hit with the family! Thank you Jen! 

 My amazingly wonderful friends got me this awesome Kelly Moore Libby bag. And I absolutely love it!

Tyler started flag football, and even though it has been rocky and back and forth, he still loves it.

Love watching him play!!!

Finally got my Fall Bucket List up from Loves of Life. Thank you Katie!

Found this sign at Marshall's and thought it would make a great addition to my kitchen.

 Bought me some new boots for this fall and have been having fun dressing myself from Pinterest :)

 And dressing myself out of things that I find in the back of my closet. 

Well that has been a lot of catching up for the past month. Hoping that I will be better about at least updating every couple of days instead of every month. 

Y'all have a Wonderful Wednesday! 

playing catch up

Here it is Wednesday and I have not posted on thing this week. I swear one of these days I will get my act together and start posting regularly again, but until then my sporadic-ness will have to do. Sad I know. I will do better. 

Let me start by saying that I have not had one beer or cigarette since Sunday night. This is HUGE! I really like to have a beer in the evenings and lets not even mention my morning cigarette. The no beer is because of a bet between me and a friend. (PS. Im gonna win!)

I thought since I was giving up my vices I would also start being a little healthier than I am now. I could stand to lose a couple of pounds and eat a little better than I do. I could definitely drink more water than I do! So this week I made a couple of healthy meals to replace my not so healthy meals. 

The first one was a Pinterest find and it was UH-MAY-ZING! I so will be making this one again! And again! Seriously you guys, you have to try these Buffalo Chicken Lettuce Wraps. Not only were they something I want to make all the time, they were super easy to make as well. 

The other one is a Veggie Stuffed Sweet Potato. I got the idea from Jen over at Peas and Crayons and fell in love! They really are the easiest thing ever. I cook my potato in the microwave for 6 minutes then load it down with tomatoes, black olives, bell pepper, jalapeño, and a little dollop of sour cream. Yum! You can load your down with anything you like. The possibilities are endless.

Now that I have told you what I ate I will just give a brief explanation of this last pic.

This year I decided to be an active member of the PTA and figured that I should probably dress a little more like a mom than I have all summer. Somehow I don't think the cutoff shorts and tank tops would go over so well at our first meeting of the year. (I can hear Harper Valley PTA playing in the back of my head as I type this.) 

After a lot of looking of Pinterest I dug this out of the back of my closet and thought it would make a cute outfit. I really like the stripes with the camo! I did change the pants though. I just had to wear my ripped up boyfriend jeans :) 

Well there ya have it! I have y'all all caught up. Hopefully this will continue so I don't have post so much at once from now on. Happy Wednesday!

time for a little homework

Don't they look so deep in thought (and adorable) doing their homework?!

first day of school

I have officially made it through the first week of school.

I was surprised by how emotional I was that Tyler was going to school this year. They have been gone almost every day this summer and I was expecting it to be just another day. It has finally set in that my sweet baby boy is actually growing up!

I have never in my life seen a little boy who was so excited to go to school. Even on Saturday he was asking how many days until school. Absolutely adorable! I am so thankful for his enthusiastic attitude and every morning it just makes me heart melt. Jacob on the other hand was NOT excited at all but is starting to come around. He really likes lunch and still looks forward to the weekends when he can stay up late and sleep in. I suspect that once he starts making new friends that he will enjoy going to school.

Here are my sweet boys on the first day of school...

I even got up super early to make the boys a special lunch. I used these cute little cookie cutters in the shapes of skulls and sharks to make little pizzas. They loved them!

school lunch ideas

Morning Y'all! 

This year Jacob has requested that I pack his lunch instead of sending a Lunchable. He says that they just don't fill his tummy up enough. Even though they are easier to toss into a lunch box in the morning, I am happy he said he would rather have me pack him something special. 

It makes this mama's heart feel good.

So naturally I have been browsing Pinterest looking for ideas. (Seriously, what did we ever do before Pinterest?) And there are so many awesome ideas! These moms are pretty awesome to take the time to make some of these lunches. I mean WoW!

Tiffany over at Peanut Blossom has so many wonderful ideas! 

I really like that she gives lots of ideas and even some made with leftovers. 

The boys would love this submarine sandwich lunch from Lisa Storms.

These make ahead lunch ideas over at Spoonful are awesome. You can make them on the weekends and have them ready to go for the week!

These pizza rolls are always a hit with my boys. Plus, they are easy to make and are non-messy. 

What are your favorite school lunch ideas?

birthday weekend

*Warning: Lots of Pics*

This last weekend for my birthday we rented a cabin with our friends in Ruidoso, NM. I have always been a barefoot and sandy toes kind of gal so I was pretty reluctant to spend time in the mountains. It was actually farther from the ocean! But I have to say... I'm not sure if I will ever be a beach gal anymore. The mountains were amazing! The air was so clean, the wildlife was everywhere, the roads were fun to drive, the scenery was glorious. Everything about them was amazing!

It was the best birthday a girl could ask for! Our friends are amazing and I am incredibly blessed to have them in my life and be able to consider them family! 

Here are some pics (all taken with my iPhone) of our extended weekend away...

Our first morning there was beautiful!

Trying some French beer and a Green Chili Beer. 

Neither tasted as good as Coors Light.

The best-est friend a girl could ask for!!!

The kids loved playing with the snails!

Putting my feet in the hot tub on a chilly mountain morning.

Divine!

Lake Bonita

Pony races! 

We lost a whole $12 :)

I absolutely loved this weather!

The End